You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
How's work?
Spinning.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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