she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
