He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
