Only a mothe r could love this liver
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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