If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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