I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
