Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize