come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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