On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
