Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
