When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
