you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
