i already hear my dad disowning me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
