you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
