she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
