you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
