Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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