Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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