You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
