Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sober January is a disaster.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
