Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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