Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She bit a glass in half.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You pole danced in your parka.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
