You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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