I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
