Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize