Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
