ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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