If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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