Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
