Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
