possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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