A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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