So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
