I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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