could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
