fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
