Small penises have feelings too.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
