K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
