Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
