Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
