Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize