we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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