you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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