trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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