Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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