Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
