hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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