3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
