38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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