Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He felt like a one man threesome
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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