ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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