where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Randomize
