Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
