When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Everclear isn't food dammit
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
