You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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