wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
