So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
