Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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