Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize