I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize