ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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