That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Terrible idea I love it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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