Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
