She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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