I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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