The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
