I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
