just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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