yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We have started to decorate penises.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
