It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
